Yesterday...

Yesterday I was feeling very overwhelmed.  Finally the tears began to fall.  I called my husband on the phone and began to panic.  I told him, that's it, I'm not going.  Everything seemed, in my mind, to be spinning out of control.  I was riding the biggest roller coaster of all.  But I'm better today.  I was a ball of nerves.  I've never left my children for so long.  For a month, I've been busy "preparing" them and their schools, and babysitters for our departure, but I haven't been preparing my heart.  I had spent hours reading books on Ethiopia, making flight plans, changing flight plans, praying over donations, praying for the nannies who take care of Yohanna.  But I have never spent the time "preparing" me to be gone for so long from my children.  Everytime I've traveled around the world, previously, they have went with me.  And now they are not.  It is something that I never thought would bother me, but I have now found, it does. 

On a better note, I received a developmental report on Yohanna yesterday.  I found out about her past.  Her story.  It surprised me how it made me feel.  I will never look at a white and brown towel the same again.  It said she weighs 9 pounds and is 20 inches long.  It had all her developmental milestones, and for being a preemie, it seems she is right on target!  It also included 7 new pictures!!!  One of them is above! She is so stinkin' cute!  I can't wait to get to her!!!  Less than a week to wait.  God willing....